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How to Deal with Self-esteem Thieves by Smiling

“If you lose weight, I’ll date you.” “When will you get a job? Marriage? Hurry up! My son already did it!” We may have heard words like these that hurt our self-esteem. People who say these kinds of words are called ‘self-esteem thieves.’ By saying these words, they hurt others’ self-esteem and reinforce their own. In our daily lives, these self-esteem thieves are increasing. We want to know how to deal with them. But school teachers don’t teach about this. To solve this problem, the easiest way would be for us to break off our connection with them. However, this strategy doesn’t always work. What if they are your boss? How about if they are in your family? Can you say “get away from my life!” to them? To help us, books for 'first aid' have appeared. Among the many books, I picked up a best seller: How to Deal with Rude People Smiling. Read it carefully if there are esteem-thieves around you.

How to Deal with Rude People Smiling

When I saw the title of this book, I felt something. I felt like I could counterattack with a smile to self-esteem thieves around me. This book is in omnibus form. The author writes lessons/strategies learned from her experience and from TV/ books. For example, she throws the keyword ‘personal space’ (personal space necessary for comfortable spaces) that she learned from books. Then she gives us examples and strategies when someone invades his or her personal space. Think about this situation: Someone asks you questions that are hard to answer, such as “Are you a feminist?” invading your personal space. She advises you to say, “Why do you think that way?” or “What exactly do you mean ‘Am I a feminist’”, so as not to give a conclusive answer like just ‘yes’ or ‘no’. This is a good way to understand the words without offending the other person.

We may say that this is a typical story that we can see in the any self-improvement books! Even so, this book has its own merit. In my opinion, this book reflects the latest examples and issues (like the feminist issue I mentioned). In the rapidly changing world, it will be more suitable to apply the latest examples to our lives rather than older examples. Her book also has so many strategies so that we can pick something cool. But just using strategies and solving that situation only are nothing more than ‘first aid’. Because it is the most important thing to think “I am to be loved” and to love yourself. That’s why I used the word ‘first aid’ in the introduction. This lesson is also written in this book

After reading this book, we’ll learn a big lesson, which is ‘You are worth more than anything’. There are not acceptable reasons for someone to hurt your self-esteem. But be careful not to be such a thief. Don’t forget that other people are worth as much as you are. In addition, you should not be a thief of your own self-esteem. To heal our self-esteem perfectly, we also have to learn to love ourselves. If you learn this, you will now be a person who is not robbed of your self-esteem and can love your life. I hope you are able to be a smart person who knows how to deal with self-esteem thieves. good luck!

Choi Hyejin  gpwls2108@naver.com

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